I lay down just as I always do and go through physical relaxation, making it to that void state that I enjoy so much. I start engaging myself in the roller coaster technique and without too much effort, the vibrations roar in and I am ejected at high speed from my body as usual. This is always a good method for seeing some place new until I can finally get the hang of teleportation.
I land in a large city that looks a lot like New York. I am standing on a sidewalk in front of a short haired Indian woman. She is middle aged and has a good hoop piercing in her right nostril. She introduces herself. Her name is Usha. She asks me if I remember what it is we were discussing last time we met. I am wracking my brain and I can't remember even ever meeting her before. I respond "no". She doesn't seem disappointed. She just says "that's OK, we will start from here." I agree that his sounds like a good plan. She says "Today, we are going to focus on fear." I don't know what that means, but I agree that focusing on fear sounds fine to me.
I follow her and she leads me into an alleyway between two skyscrapers. There is a water spillway behind us as we sit on a cement ledge side by side. She looks at me and says very seriously, "Stay put". I agree to stay put, waiting for more instructions, but she just looks up. I look at her looking up and then I look up to see what it is that she is looking at. She is looking at the tops of the skyscrapers. As I too, stare at the tops of these immense buildings, they begin to crumble. Large chunks of concrete and brick begin tumbling toward us. I instinctively jump up and begin running. I call to her to run as well but make little effort to save her. (Quite the hero, right?)
I listen to the sound of the rubble hit the ground and it is deafening. Finally, I turn around and see smoke rising from the rubble that is now covering the spot where I was sitting moments before. Usha is gone and I phase back to my body.
This feels like a test; a test that I apparently failed. Two years, four months, and seven days into my work with phase experiences, completely aware that I cannot be harmed, that connection to the physical still takes over and fear still wins. I need to work on this if I am going to move forward.